Bassist Audition Tape [Updated]

Man, y'all do NOT understand the trouble involved with being a (former) rock star. I'm still dealing with line-up changes and people either leaving for other projects or, more likely, a bunch of wannabes trying to hop on my shiny silver coattails for a quick ride to the B-List.

Case in point: Somehow word got out that I might be looking for a new bass player. Don't ask me how. The end result? My inbox is now full of videos like this:

In the old days, I'd just get a cassette with a headshot or a polaroid, and the odd bit of glitter, weed, or broken glass (for "cred"). Now I gotta look at this while I'm trying to wake up?

I should have been an investment banker!

UPDATE: My friend Adam Tober (who is fluent in Japanese) just told me the title of this song translates as "Drink Milk! Do Not Drink Milk!" and at the end is some sort of disclaimer about drinking milk. Go figure.


Dante Negroponte, our drummer, is nearly fully recovered from his motorcycle accident. He has retained one of the finest personal injury attorneys in San Francisco, and will be pounding the skins in no time (he'll also be playing drums, too. Har har.)

Of course, I couldn't let the hot engine of my career idle or cool while Mr. Glasshands went through physical therapy or whatever you do when you break your hands. I did what they taught me to do in Hollywood: I sent him flowers, a fruit basket, and a note that said "Your job is waiting for you".

And then I started auditioning replacement drummers.

My first choice was Jens Hanneman - cat can play everything - but apparently he's already "committed" for 2009. We did have a good jam session, though. Jens totally dominated. Amazing stuff. Jens made a DVD a few years back, which was how I heard of him:

This young lady was my second choice:

She was quiet and polite (I don't think she said a word during the audition - her "uncle"/manager did all the talking). Can play to a click no problem. Moved her own gear, which was refreshing. Also apparently available for cheap.

3rd choice was a guy named "Gregg". He tried out for Luxxury a few years ago and blew us all away. Apparently he's now fronting a band called "G.R.E.G.G.", which is going to blow everyone away real soon.

Anyhow, Dante's on the mend, so I guess this was all for naught.